My Blah-Blah-Blog

His radio number was 334. He was one of the most handsome men I’d ever met. Smart, intelligent and quiet. He was one of the Corporals at the police department where I’d started a new job as a 911 dispatcher. I was married at the time but in the beginning stages of moving out and filing for restraining orders and a divorce. A few months in to working at the PD and I was friends with pretty much everyone, and another officer had made an extra effort to befriend me. He helped me out with my then 2-year old daughter if I had an emergency, checked in on us after we’d moved into our own place since I had lots of worries about my ex. He liked me a lot and I liked him too, but not as much as he’d have liked. We’ll call him Richard, because I always thought he looked like the shoe bomber Richard Reid.

Back to 334. I don’t remember how it all started really, but I was working in dispatch and 334 came in to the dispatch room to pick up some paperwork for a call he’d been on.  I handed it over to him and asked my own question. I think I was asking him if he’d ever read an obscure book before because I was trying to remember a detail in it that was bothering me. To my surprise, he rattled off the entire name, the author and gave me a brief summary. All while standing next to me, his arm draped over the partition and his other hand resting on his gun holster, flicking on the button tab that secures the weapon in. At first glance I thought he was flipping part of his gun and would likely shoot off his foot but when I realized it was just the button, well, I decided it was definitely sexy.

But shame shame on a married girl and no doubt this handsome and super-smart guy would neeehheeever be interested in the likes of me. So I decided I should instead just pay attention to this Corporal who was a wealth of knowledge and information, both professionally and personally (cause good Lord he knew a LOT!).  And so I did! I looked forward to every shift we worked together. At some point, we’d eventually bump into each other in the hall or in dispatch and we’d trade pleasantries and talk about the books we were reading. I found out he was from Rhode Island and liked to cook. He liked the Crocodile Hunter and had read enough of the “How To Survive…” book to know how to survive in any situation. He had a particular way of speaking, sort of a slow, deliberate way.  I loved, loved working with and getting to know this man.  He talked about his girlfriend and listened to me talk a little about my situation.

One day I wanted to go on a ride-along. I was going to go with another officer when the sergeant on duty switched me to ride with Curtis. I knew it would be an interesting night because he’d likely tell me every single historic detail about the city, call history for streets and houses that we’d pass, and he’d likely quiz me on policy and procedure for calls he’d make up.

Our first call was boring, the second was a traffic stop. As he got out of the car he leaned in the open window and said, hand resting on holster, “I’ll be right back.”  It was pretty hot.

He took me to dinner and we had a few more calls but nothing too terribly exciting. We went back to the department and he did paperwork while I hung out in dispatch. Then we got a call for a domestic in progress. It was a good one! I was so excited to go to a good call like this, so I hightailed it out to jump back into our car. Well don’t you know, Curtis left me behind!?!?!? I was super annoyed but realized he didn’t have time to wait around for me so we could leave for a domestic, so it was all good. It would have been my last call anyway since the shift was almost over.

I got an email from him the next day about that last call for the night. “I didn’t want you to have to see that.” Is what it said. Sweet ole Curtis was being sensitive to my own domestic experience and didn’t want to expose me to anything that could have been traumatic or dangerous. What a nice guy.

I bought a fake snake and put it by his vehicle one day before a shift started. He of course picked it up and called in service with “one reptilian rider” on board. That snake later became involved in a story that involves beer as evidence and what I thought was for SURE the end of my career as a dispatcher (I’ll post this soon. It’s pretty funny!).

Things were wonderful, great. I was looking forward to getting my divorce and my career was looking up.

One day Curtis and I were talking about im-speak – shortening words to fit better into instant messages and texts. You know, stuff like LOL or OMG.

I got an instant message from Curtis one day. It said URTOO. I didn’t know what it meant. I had to ask him.

And that is the day Curtis turned my world upside-down.

This world is swallowing me whole. It seems it’s stolen my very soul.

The other day the kids and I were watching Star Trek The Throwback Edition. As in not the most recent movie, but The Wrath of Khan and The Search for Spock. The same two movies which elicited “Were these made in the 1700′s” by my apparent movie guru 10-year old daughter when she saw the special effects. I suppose movie magic from the 80′s for her is akin to the movie magic from the 60′s as in stop-action  by Ray Harryhausen of Jason and the Argonauts, Clash of the Titans and Sinbad (if you haven’t seen any of those, you really should just for pop culture sake!)

But I’m not here to talk about movies. I’m here to talk about something I have to do but don’t want to do.

In Star Trek (Spoilers – don’t read on if you haven’t seen the movies)

… Spock sacrifices his life to save the crew of the Enterprise. He says that doing so embodies the design of self-sacrifice for the greater good: “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” or something like that. Google it. Anyhoo, Jim Kirk comes to realize that once in a while, the need of the one outweighs the need of the many and blah blah good karma happy thoughts to all.

Today I’m signing a paper. It’s a paper I don’t want to sign. I don’t want to sign it because I feel I’m selling out – myself and my friends. Of whom I feel all have in some way or another have been wronged – by gossip, negativity, all those toxic things that are hurtful and damaging. I’m the one who will say – Hey I’m going to stick up for everyone regardless of the consequences. Someone has to!

The problem here – I have kids. Two of em to be exact. So doing this thing I don’t want to do will be better for them. It pretty much means an extra paycheck which will cover our rent for the month. That’s pretty important. I suppose feeding and sheltering my kids always trumps doing the ‘right’ thing or standing up for myself or others.

So I gotta do what I gotta do. The needs of my kids outweigh the needs of me or anyone else.

But, not all is lost and I’m sure there will be a time when sticking up and speaking up will be appropriate. And believe you me, I’m going to have a lot of satisfaction in doing it.

I’ve noticed recently that a lot of people say they are working on a book.  There’s no mention of what kind of book, if it’s a biography or fiction or sci-fi fantasy or smut-tastic novella. I wonder how many of these people just think they have the next smashing success a’la Harry Potter or if they have that inner drive to write – if you’re a writer then you know what I’m talking about: the craving to write down something, anything.

I’ve loved to write since I was a little girl. I wrote “books” by the dozens starting off in the first grade. I still have a few somewhere that have been saved. My favorite is a Christmas story about Timmy the Mouse who gets caught up in a Christmas tree because of his disobedience to his parents. It wasn’t but 10 or 15 years ago that I wanted to write a book about a little girl whose parents were missionaries and she got to experience cultures and languages and people groups from all over the great big world, learning simple phrases in their languages as she went from place to place and of course this knowledge was passed on to the reader. (Dora beat me to it. Swiper!)

Recently I’ve been told numerous times that I should write a book, and if not a book then I should write SOMETHING, anything. I’ve experienced so much, been through so much, learned so much that surely sharing my life with the world could help at least one person!

Every now and then I think to do it. I even have a title picked out. I know what I’d share, maybe not how just yet. As in, would I write a self-help book? What to do if?? Would it be written third person or first person and read like a novel, but be pure non-fiction, the story of me?

One thing I do know is keeping me from writing a book.

I don’t yet have a happy ending.

I was at work today when my boss came in to my office to ask me a question about Easter dresses for little girls (I have a 10-year old daughter).

First of all let me say that my daughter thinks my boss is the bees knees. She met her about two years ago and they instantly hit it off as my boss graciously listened to the precocious chatter of a young girl and shared similar likes (books, reading, etc) and even came up with a nickname for my son – Booger – although I should probably let her know that Farter is now more appropriate.

Anyway, said boss has the cool office with knick-knacks and bobble heads and trinkets galore, enough to entertain even the most easily bored person on the planet. Top off her super cool office with her genuine chuckle that makes me smile when I hear it (she also whistles now and again which is a happy sound to me).  She’s just a really funny person.

She is also a very generous person. She’s given Little Miss cool books to read for her birthday, and for the past two Christmases has given some sort of food-providing program donation in honor of the company/coworkers. Christmas is usually the time I start thinking about being generous to others.

So what do dresses, little girls and my boss have in common?

Hang on I’m getting there.

Miss Boss came into my office today asking me about Easter dresses. You see, her church has a program akin to the Christmas tree where you pick up info on a youngster and provide an Easter outfit or other need for them. She’s getting a 10-year old girl a dress. And maybe some shoes. I wouldn’t put it past her to get a purse and a hat and gloves and a real-live bunny if she thought the little girl would enjoy it.

I thought it was so sweet and thoughtful of her. I remember when I was a little girl, even a young teenager, and going on the crazy, headache-inducing shopping trip that was “Find an Easter dress” with my mom. All the angst of shopping couldn’t douse my excitement Easter morning when I carefully pulled on my brand-new white tights, zipped up my new pretty dress, buckled up my white and unscuffed Mary Jane shoes (they always had black scuffs by the end of the day!) and put on my new hat and Easter gloves, topped off with a new Easter purse. The super girly ruffly-bottomed bloomers I never got, however. =)

I haven’t always been able to provide brand new Easter outfits for my own 10-year old, and I think her last 5 or 6 get-ups have been too-big hand-me-downs or just her best yes-I-know-you-wore-that-last-year-but-hush-and-put-it-on blouse and skirt. We always made do and my kids have never whined or complained about it in the end.

To know some little gal out there is going to be blessed with such a fine dress for a special day makes me feel positively good inside.

I shared this information with my daughter when I got home from work today. She’s inspired too, so much so that she wants to purchase a purse and earrings to give to Miss Boss to donate with her dress.

In reading this I’m aiming for a few things: I hope to inspire you to remember the fun of gussying up for Easter Sunday, whether you are off to church or to share a special family meal. This lovely Spring weather brings with it a reminder that life renews after a long season of gloomy cold, bringing brightness and joy along with colors of Easter flowers and colored-eggs.

New life brings hope to troubled seasons in life.

I see that newness reflected in my own family, particularly my daughter who had her own troubled season last year but is blossoming into a kind, empathetic and generous young lady. I hope her enthusiasm for Miss Boss’ generosity continues to grow as she seeks opportunities to give to others.

I hope you are all encouraged to look around your own church, synagogue, place of worship or community to see the current needs there: clothing, shoes, food, a new backpack, heck – even a hug. Be generous this Spring season and breathe new life into those around you with a positive and caring attitude.

Perhaps a (preapproved) trip with goodies to the children’s ward at the hospital, or woman’s shelter, orphanage or other helpful organization will give YOU the lift you need right now in addition to blessing someone else.

=)

If you don’t know by now, I’ve been dealing with some relationship issues the past few days, weeks, months. =)

See, I met this amazing guy. I was in a lonely time in my life and was praying, hoping for someone to come along and sweep me off of my feet. By chance I met up with my downstairs neighbor who’d lived below me for several months and don’t you know, we hit it off.

I don’t just mean we hit it off as in “wow what a great time, hope we hang out again soon” sort of way. No no no, I mean we were inseparable for months, doing everything together. We had great dates, great long deep conversations about life and love and everything in-between. Even a trip to the grocery store was fun together. He’s a perfect fit for me: we never argue, he’s romantic and considerate (did I mention he’s an amazing kisser!?), he’s handsome and funny and I’ve never been this in-love (excluding how I feel about David Boreanaz but that’s different) and I’ve never been in this great or healthy of a relationship for this long.

So why on earth am I talking break-up with this Mr. Perfect!? Well, it’s because I want to get married and have one more little baby before too long. And, while Mr. Perfect may want that one day, it’s not any time soon. As in, maybe late this century.  It doesn’t help that I’m already blessed with two little offspring which likely causes him a little panic as if I’m looking for a new dad for my kids.

I get that. I respect that. And I would never, ever force him into something he wasn’t ready for, or didn’t want. I remember when I met my now ex-husband he had two kids and was divorced. I can’t say I’m without empathy for Mr. Perfect.

That actually isn’t the point here. I have heard from many a-friends over the past three weeks seeking relationship advice. Not sure why they are coming to me, but hey it’s a girl’s duty to help her girlfriends out, right?

There seems to be a problem and it’s impacting almost every single one of my single girlfriends in the world. “I just want to get married, and settle down.” Okay, nothing wrong with that, right?

So why is it, then, that SO MANY of today’s available guys are declaring  “we’re breaking up because she wants to get married someday.”

Yeah, so what? Now, I’m not talking about the guy who doesn’t want to marry the chick he’s only been dating for a few weeks, or the guy who is trying to finish college and start a career so he can provide for a family someday in the future. I’m talking about the guys who act like getting married is a terrible, horrible panic-inducing thought.

Call it commitment issues, call it being afraid of never being able to ogle at a strippers boobies at a birthday celebration, call it whatever you want. I just think we should call it something.

When I was growing up, I was reading books and watching movies that all had one theme in common: young girl wants love, finds love, marries man of her dreams. I was told there was someone out there just for me, and one day we’d meet and get married and have cute little babies. So I waited for that. Waited and waited and waited. And when Hitler my ex came along, I’d waited for so long that when someone came along who was a potential, I settled on him thinking no one else was coming and he’d do. (Bad idea).

But back to my whining. We girls grow up thinking we’re going to get married some day. But it seems that men are more and more afraid of marriage. I can’t say that I blame them with ridiculous divorce rates like 1 of every 2 marriages end in divorce. Disheartening indeed.

So guys, really, what is it? Now, don’t tell me you are backing off from the girls are badgering you to get married. I’m not looking for the why behind THAT sort of refusal. I’d likely tell you to run the other way – and fast – if a girl is truly pressuring you or badgering you to jump into a lifelong committment way too soon.

What I AM looking for is:

why do guys make girls feel bad for even wanting to get married? We get made fun of for looking at the pretty sparkly dresses or pretty rings, thinking about all the fantasies we’d had since we were little girls of being THAT girl on her wedding day. Why is that a bad thing?

Why do you want to run away the moment a girl admits “Well, yeah I have always wanted to get married and have a family and a pretty little house.” She never said WITH YOU so if it’s in the conversation, why do you feel like she’s sinking her talons into you!?

I’m wondering if it’s because there are so many single parent families out there that boys and girls are growing up thinking being single is how to do things. (Note: don’t get me wrong, PLEASE. There isn’t anything wrong with being single (hello, I’m single) and a big fat medal is awarded by me to every single single-parent out there because you are truly saints).

So tell me what you all think. Do women over-think, over-plan for the day of her dreams? Should we all just forget about finding Mr. Right, Mr. Perfect and focus on our careers, our homes, our dogs? Should women tell a man straight up: Hey, I want to get married at some point. Not today, maybe not to you, but I want you to know that I’m dating with the intent of finding someone I’m compatible with, in hopes that the relationship could lead to something deeper, longer lasting. And if this doesn’t go anywhere, I’m cool with that. But if we end up being head-over-heels in love, well I’d like to hope you would feel the same way about wanting to be with me forever as I do with you.”

Be nice with comments. And, for the record, Mr. Perfect is right in how he feels right now, and this blog has nothing to do with whether or not he wants to hang out with me for forever.

Oy. I posted this blog (below) once before and have forwarded it to several people who continue to send me STUPID and LAME CRAP email. It’s driving me crazy. I’m pretty sure I’ve developed a nervous tick. To top it off, I’m being invited to join a million a lot of groups on Facebook, promising me that if I join their group and invite all my friends, then I will gain treasures untold. Truth is… wait let me repeat that: TRUTH IS you don’t HAVE to join the group to see what link they are promoting, and you don’t HAVE to be a genius to know that it’s just a bunch of crap spam anyway!!!!!!! SO STOP IT!!!

*hem*

Here it is…

My email box is frequently cluttered with various emails from well meaning friends and relatives who desire to pass on “vitally important knowledge” or “incredible information” to me as well as the rest of the world. These friends and relatives practically insist that we must all forward this one email for “a child sick with cancer who wants a world record for the most emails sent telling his story.” We must forward another email because “Bill Gates wants to give everyone money each time they forward information about a new program’s beta testing.”

Today I was urged to join the ranks of terrified aunties and uncles who will now – at all cost – avoid using restaurant bathrooms because of the venomous ‘South American Blush Spider’ which lurks stealthily beneath the toilet seat, gleefully anticipating his next victim so he can munch on their exposed…selves.

Unfortunately, most of these emails are untrue, outdated and outlandishly exaggerated. Take, for example, the creepy Camel Spider who lives in Iraq and wants to eat our American Soldiers. People, people, people! Puhlease! Did’ja LOOK at the picture?! It’s a close-up of the spider, and the hand which holds it. Notice the spider is as big as the cufflink. Geez. *Note: If I ever saw a spider even HALF the size of my cufflink, I’d run away as fast as I could!*

It is a shame the time and effort wasted by these folks who have sent me (and everyone else in their over-used email address book) their panicked emails. To this day, they await a check from Bill Gates which should by now bear an amount well into the thousands. Some of these email writers are incredibly and immediately convinced of the ‘truth’ in the email they received, most without question. How many of us have received the “You are the last heir to King So-and-So who left you millions of dollars. Just send us your bank account and routing number and we will immediately transfer the funds to you in America”!? Even with all of the news reports, commentaries and exposes, there are still people falling for these rouses.

And now people are falling for texts on their phones, asking to call a number right away because of some alert on their bank account. Jeez! Do you remember signing up for something like this? Do you NOT KNOW that your bank DOES NOT ask you for your password or social security when THEY call YOU!?!?!?!?

Much grief, hurt, anxiety and inconvenience could be avoided by a simple internet search on the subject at hand. There are many websites which list the thousands of internet hoaxes, scams and urban legends that circulate round and round the internet. If you receive an email which promises a fantastic return in exchange for some work, or an email with an outlandish and almost unbelievable story: take a second to research it. In as much time as it would take you to hit “forward” and select everyone in your email address book, you could also check into the email and perhaps save yourself future embarrassment!

It is safe, ladies and gentlemen, to use the toilet at your local favorite feeding hole.

PS – before you send me an email telling me I will have bad luck for 10 years if I don’t forward it on to 10 friends…well let’s just say Friends Don’t Send Friends Stupid Emails.

When in doubt, check out www.snopes.com – this great site dispels many-a-myth!!!

It’s happened to all of us I’m sure: breaking-up. I broke up with my first beau in kindergarten, but we exchanged fat pencils and were still friends after all was said and done. My most recent (and probably most painful) just happened within a week.

So, how ’bout you? Gotta make it through a tough break-up? It’s possible to do, even though right now you probably feel like climbing into a hole and crying your eyes out for the rest of your life. I know I do.

Just take a deep breath and from here on out think with your head more than you think with your heart. And maybe take in a little of what I have to say.

First of all, remember that a relationship – romantic or otherwise – is based on emotions.  It only stands to reason that all of the emotional buildup and bliss and romantic giddy feelings leading to your relationship has to come down the other side of the hill. It’s painful, heart-wrenching, and it hurts oh-so-bad. This is one of the times in life where you really have to buckle down, prepare yourself for the torrent of emotions that are going to come up (and may be worse on some days more than others). I gotta repeat a concept for you here: you absolutely have GOT to do your best to think everything through with your head to get through this! You cannot rely on emotions to define your reality.

The next important thing to remember is this: be mature about the break-up. Sure, your feelings are probably hurt. You may be really mad at your new ‘ex’. But listen: it wasn’t so long ago that you loved this person (and probably still do). Remember the good things about your ex, the things that made you enjoy their company and your relationships. Don’t focus on how or why you broke up. The fact is, none of those things matter now as you walk through this initial phase of your break-up. Honestly, thinking about the negatives will only hurt you and draw out the process. Trying to figure out the why or the how of the breakup could set you back: you will want to try to get him or her back even though you’ve reached the conclusion that you shouldn’t be together, or you may manipulate your ex to take you back just so you don’t have to experience this pain (or allow yourself to be manipulated!).

Along the lines of being mature, don’t bad-mouth your ex, regardless of what he or she has done. Take the higher road and leave it be. Any potential future dates don’t want to hear you badmouth your current ex. He or she may take that as a big red flag. Avoid the drama, let it go. Stop contacting your ex, even if it’s an amicable split. This doesn’t have to be permanent, but you really do need a few days to get all of these emotions out of your system!

And lastly, take some time to let those emotions out. Cry a few nights in a row, be sad about whatever you want to be sad about: the loss of the relationship, loss of a friendship, all the good memories you had. You may feel like you’ll never love anyone this much ever again. You may feel rejected, betrayed, angry. Allow each emotion to surface, take a look at why you think you’re experiencing it, and let it be for a few minutes. Trying to stuff your emotions to just move on may help you for the short-term, but in the long-run it will reach a potentially explosive level and you might find yourself having a melt-down in the middle of the grocery store or at work.

Oh there’s so much about life that is good and bad. Take the bad in stride and look for what else is out there that is good. More on that in follow-up posts.

Sad today? Find something that brings you joy and go do it. Have lunch with a friend, do some retail therapy, go for a jog. Make sure it’s something that you really enjoy and can do without pining or wistful thinking.

*hugs*

Yeah, it’s hard to do. I mentioned that in my last post. I’ve been listening to break-up songs all morning and I’m finding that I relate to a lot of the emotions and feelings written into the songs, but not always the situation behind the meaning of the song. In other words, many of those tortured-souls wrote about the loss of love usually because someone cheated or left them or just went plumb-crazy.

My situation is different. I *love* my newly “ex” ex-boyfriend. As in, a lot. And unfortunately for both of us, he still loves me too.

You know that Shakespearean phrase “star-crossed lovers”??? Look it up in the dictionary, our picture is there next to it.

Let me tell you a little about this awesome ex of mine: he’s awesome. He’s adorable. He’s thoughtful and romantic and damn funny. I’ve dated him longer than I’ve dated anyone else in my life, and I’ve had beautiful, wonderful experiences with him that I’ve not had with anyone else. Ever.

You’re probably wondering “What the heck! Don’t break up! True love is hard to find! Make it work! Sacrifice for it! Do anything for it! Too many people are lonely and looking for love and you found the real deal!? You are an idiot to walk away!!!”

I’m thinking the same thing, trust me. But don’t forget that star-crossed thingie. The cheated by the cosmos, God played a cruel trick on us realization that we’ve both had on-and-off the past few months.

See, this awesome guy is quite a bit younger than me (hold off on the cougar jokes. I’m sensitive right now). He’s not been married before and is currently enjoying his life as a successful entrepreneur working on his own terms, going out when he wants, where he wants, spending money on what he wants, when he wants.

Me? Single mom of two. That should stir up enough stereotypes for you to now say “Oh, I get it.” Don’t get me wrong, my kids are GOOD KIDS. They’re well behaved, respectful, empathetic and good kids. But they’re still kids which means they demand a lot of energy, attention and focus. So when an awesome guy is dating an awesome gal who is also a mom, he’s gotta be ready and willing to share the attention, love and focus.

Awesome ex guy has done a great job of that, really. Especially since he’s never really hung out around kids. He’s been open and honest with me at every step of the way and we’ve worked so hard to tweak things here and there to make sure everyone all around is happy and feeling like they’re getting their fair share of the mom/girlfriend attention.

But it all comes down to this: I don’t want to just date people for the next (insert unknown number of weeks, months or years here).  While I’m not looking for a new dad for my kids (Lord knows I’ve spend their entire lives caring for them solo, and I can do it all by myself tyvm) I do want someone who at least GETS kids, and is okay that sometimes I can’t be available to them because I have a kid puking on me or needing help with homework or just needs some extra mom time because of a bad day.

We went into this relationship knowing what each other wanted: me, to settle down at some point, maybe have one more little bundle of joy in a loving, caring, secure relationship and experience parenting with a partner. Him: well those sorts of things aren’t out of the question, but they aren’t something he wants to happen in the next 5-10 years.

I sort of realized that things needed to come to a halt sooner rather than later this past Superbowl Sunday. It was a catastrophe of the most uncomfortable proportions that made me realize that I can’t always be me and the kids and my guy, that I have to (more often than not) put them in the background, or the bottom of the totem pole, to give 100% to this relationship. It made me feel like I had to be two people: Victoria the girlfriend and Victoria the mom.

Don’t get me wrong: us women SHOULD keep that separate ‘identity’ for times we’re with our spouses or partners otherwise we may as well wipe their bottoms, too. What I’m talking about here is being TWO different people and the two aren’t allowed to mingle or meet. It’s hard enough to switch gears after a day of working, mothering, cooking and cleaning and then be cute and energetic in a relationship. It’s not just single moms that struggle with burnout at the end of the day, my married gal-pals do, too.

Anyhoo. it’s an impossible situation. One of us has to give up and sacrifice BIG time: he’d have to give up his single carefree days of bachelorhood. Me: I’d have to wait 5-10 years to get married or maybe have a baby IF we stayed together that long, and by that time I don’t know that I’d be able to or want to anymore.

So you see, it’s just not gonna work out without some major undertakings that neither of us are 100% sold on doing. While I’d do just about anything for the awesome ex, I don’t know if I could give up ME. And I don’t want to ask him to give up, well, HIM.

Sucks.

So, let’s say you are dating someone who you’ve been with for almost a year. And one sad day you both realize that while you truly and honestly love each other, your relationship just won’t work out and you both decide to call it quits.

But breaking up IS hard to do you know – they write songs about it all the time – and you’re no exception to the rule. It seems silly to break up JUST because things won’t work out in the next year or two for you (because you are in different stages of life and you aren’t both going in the same direction) but the sacrifice either one of you would have to make to keep it together would just be hurtful in the long-run.

Do you cut it off cold turkey? Wean off your relationship (especially if you are used to hanging out every single day/night!) or just push through until someone else comes along?
Help a friend out. What’s your advice?