The other day my brother and I were talking about our old High School back in Germany. We thought that the school had closed down along with the local military base, but it hadn’t. I found the website and then signed up for the “Alumni” society. Soon I was browsing through a bunch of names, of which some I remembered and others I didn’t.
Soon I came across one name in particular that sounded super familiar. Wow – talk about a blast from the past! I’d just located my very first true-love boyfriend. Aww, isn’t that sweet?
I really liked this guy in my 14 ½ / 15-year-old crush kind of way, but even more so because he was one of the ‘popular’ guys and he liked ME! I’d kissed a few guys before (read: pecked on the cheek) and was hoping that he would kiss me soon after we’d passed the official note of “Do you want to go out with me? Yes, No, Maybe (pick one).”
One night, I had to babysit for a neighbor. My best friend went with me and we hung out for an hour or two when suddenly there was a knock at the door. Lo and behold, it was my ‘boyfriend’. Holy cow – good but not good. Apparently my friend had told him where we’d be for the night!
However, I was FORBIDDEN (under penalty of death) to invite guys over to any house where there was no adult supervision. The fact that he showed up at a house where I was babysitting was worse!
He left after a little bit, but the damage had been done. One of the little girls had seen him and proceeded to tell her parents that “the babysitter had a boyyy over.” Shortly after I returned home, the girls’ parents showed up at my door, demanding to know why I had a boy over. I did the only thing that 14 1/2- 15 year-olds do when they are in trouble, I lied. After all, I hadn’t really invited him over, and he only came in for about 10 minutes, honest!
My parents decided to hold a mini Spanish Inquisition and put me in one room, my BFF in another, and my boyfriend in the living room. In true FBI fashion they interrogated each of us. I was the only one who stuck to the story (thanks a lot, guys!). Long story short, I was grounded for weeks, wasn’t allowed to go to a concert that weekend, and I wasn’t allowed to talk to my boyfriend for daaayys. I don’t know how I survived.
I remember when he left that night – somehow I managed to walk him to the door. He stood there for a second and I knew, just knew, that this was it. Hopefully he’d lay a big one on me considering the fact I was facing lifetime incarceration. Perhaps he’d be moved by my pitiful and dejected look and figure a kiss was certainly in order.
In the awkward fashion that only 14 1/2 – 15 year-olds can pull off, he maneuvered himself to get a little closer. My heart was about to pound right out of my chest. I figured he must really like me if he was going to get some smootching action, which of course only solidifies the “going out” status. Oh, and he was sooo cute.
And then it happened. The worst thing that could ever happen to anyone about to be kissed.
I giggled.
And I couldn’t stop giggling. Not only did I feel suddenly very queer and very silly, but I suddenly realized that he had braces – the big gawky silver braces. Now, I’d heard stories of people getting stuck together while kissing with braces. I suppose at the time I should have realized that BOTH kissers had to have braces. But it never occurred to me that my naked pearly whites would definitely not become attached to his…
The visual I had in my mind of the two of us stuck suck-faced together, and my mother discovering us that way, well it was just too much. I tried my best to recover and stop laughing. But you KNOW when you try to stop laughing then it only gets worse. I still can’t control fits of unnecessary giggling.
I never did regain my composure, and the only action I got was a quick kiss on the cheek. Sigh.
We broke up a few weeks later since I had to move back to the states.
I never have kissed anyone with braces (and I really don’t plan to since I’m an adult now).
Back to my story. Guess who emailed me the other day, having found out my email address from my old High School? Yep, Mr. Braceface. He said my name sounded really familiar. I wonder if I should tell him I’m the girl who laughed at his attempt to kiss me.
Nah.