beltlinemap

I wouldn’t think it was that difficult to mark a highway as NORTH or SOUTH bound, or EAST or WEST bound. But the confounded nincompoops that designed the beltline here in NC… well, I don’t know WHAT they were thinking.

What direction ARE you traveling in, exactly, when you are driving in a big circle? Make that two circles.

Today I found out that in Raleigh,  you can go east and west and south all at the same time. Let me explain:

My directions to get to point “A” were to go SOUTH on the highway. Got that?

When I get to said highway, the only two options I have are East or West. NOT South.  Sigh. I decided to take the “East” on-ramp, since the “to” city was the same as the directions.

I get on the highway with my intended exit in mind: 298A.  However, I see that I’m at exit 15. Then 16. Then 17. Crapola. Does this mean I’m going the wrong way? I can’t imagine driving allll the way to exit 298! If the numbers had been counting down, I’d have been okay with it!

Just before I decided to get off of my East-bound path from exit 20-something, the upcoming exit number is suddenly 300. Then 299. I was excited. However, the highway sign now said that I was driving WEST. Wait, what? Wasn’t I just driving East!?!?!? At no time do I recall making a 180 turn in the middle of the highway to switch directions!!!

A little annoyed, I kept on going. If I could just get to exit 298A, I’d be happy.  Success! I made it to my destination.

Now to get back home. I figured that since the original directions, which said “Go South (which is really East) meant that to get home, I’d go North, which should logically be West. However, since the highway I exited said I was driving West, I wondered if I should go East. Anyone following me? Yeah, the confused feeling you have is the same one I had.

I decided to take my chances and got on the Eastbound highway, which is where I started off on this crazy trip to begin with so it really SHOULDN’T have been right, but remember East is West is South is North. After all, the place where I’d driven to was located southwest of where I live. Made sense to me.

Didn’t work. I got on the highway from exit 298A hoping to see 299. To my dismay I saw that the upcoming exit was 297…296. Grr. Wrong way again!

I hopped off at the next exit, which was really a roundabout to get onto another highway… this time going South of course. Grr again. I drove about 3 miles before I was able to get off and turn around, going North back to the beltway. Grumble. Now which way did I just come from, was it East or West?

It didn’t matter, the exit signs that were upcoming were only for the Inner or Outer beltline. Not North, South, East OR West. GAH!!!

“A man must have designed this system” was the first thing to pop into my head, followed by a panic as I had about 30 seconds to pick which lane to get in! Inner or Outer!?

One of my options runs clockwise, or south-to-west, and the other runs counter-clockwise, or north-to-east. Or something like that.

I’m confused.

I picked the Inner beltline – innies always sound better than outies. I’m just sayin.

About a mile later, the entire road split – I could again go either North-East or North-West… I wasn’t sure exactly where I was located. Considering the fact that I was supposed to be on the same road I came in on, I don’t remember the road splitting at all! Thankfully, I stuck to the get-over-to-the-far-left lane and stayed on my highway. I think the other highway went to Alaska or something.
I finally made it home and checked out a map to see exactly what I did wrong. As far as I can tell, the roads I drove on today don’t even exist in this reality but rather some alternate universe that sucks in motorists unaware.