Another update:
Well, sad news. It’s been confirmed by the Brevard County Sheriff’s office that this little guy did indeed pass away. So if you want to help/can help this family, check out twitter feeds for more info, or go to: http://ilikeitfrantic.net/2009/12/prayers-and-hugs-for-the-ross-family/
UPDATE
Yeah, don’t be hating. Nothing wrong with wanting to help someone but checking it out first…
There’s NO local police reports, no local news story. I work for the media industry and there’s no way a story like this would go unreported. Seriously: mom alone, hubby overseas, baby dies?
I’m concerned. Super concerned. Not just because people are giving money to what*could* be a hoax (hey, I could be wrong) but because if this never happened, then a mother is speaking as though her son is dead. That’s terribly troubling. From a psychological standpoint, what does that say???
Original post:
Yes, I’m jumping on the bandwagon.
A few minutes ago I read a tweet by a kind person wishing well to someone who’d apparently lost a loved one. I clicked on the @name and discovered a few tweets by a lady whose son apparently drowned in Florida about 16 hours ago. Very sad, tragic, shocking indeed. But wait…something isn’t sitting right.
Who tweets “Please pray, 2 year old fell in a pool” followed up by odd posts with pictures. She never really says the child died, but it’s assumed based on the comments (read here: http://twitter.com/military_mom). Plus it’s foggy out – likely chilly. I lived in Fort Myers: WE NEVER went swimming in December. But okay, maybe she lives farther south. Maybe it’s a heated pool. But what’s with the chickens?
Now mind you, if I was at the hospital and was trying to get some prayers, yeah I may twitter. There’s something about the camaraderie of your friends online – whether you’ve met face to face or not. I tweeted when a beloved friend died a few months ago. But my baby?
Fog rolls in. Hour later baby fell in pool. At what point between trying to get him out, calling 911, police, fire, medical rolling on scene, attempting CPR… at what point did she tweet this prayer request?
Something just doesn’t seem right. There are no news reports at all. The AP Florida Bureau has nothing. Google search has nothing with the mom’s name or the child’s name.
Here’s what I think. Sympathies to this mom if this happened. I hope she catches a break from the nasty comments putting blame on her. If tweeting brings you comfort and some therapeutic value, keep doing it.
However, as someone who has worked in Law Enforcement, I suggest someone pay this home a visit and check on mom and baby. It isn’t impossible that maybe she’s just overwhelmed and needs help (her hubby is deployed right now). This could be a little shout-out for someone to help her out. It may be a big fat red flag that something isn’t right.
Looks like this gal is heading up the research department: http://twitter.com/madisonmcgraw. She’s catching flack too, but she has a point: just verify the story. (Check out her blog here: http://girlarsonist.blogspot.com/ )
If it’s true, I’m sure LOADS of people will flock to assist this family right away.
Either way, this woman needs help pronto: either her son just died OR something else is going on and she feels the need to lie and say he did.
Comments welcome but BE NICE.
19 Comments
Well put. It’s a sad story no matter which way it went down.
Finally someone is making some sense!
This whole thing is weird.
this is extremely well put…something is off…and either way, it’s bad! help needed now!
I Don’t know what to make of it. Seems her husband Steve isn’t deployed so where is he? He has his own website coachsteveross.com
if you look up Shellie Ross’s “blog4mom” whoisdomain search, it lists the same phone number as coachsteveross. So where is the coach? I called someone who used to be at the Rockledge soccer and they haven’t heard a whisper of this being true. You’d think it would be big local news by now. A childs death so close to Christmas? Then what mother in her right mind twitters at all? Aren’t any of her real life friends on her list? What about her parents? Her siblings? This is the way to find out if its true? The last thing I’d do is get on my phone or computer if I just lost my child. She says she has 3 kids in total. What about being there for them? What about comforting them? But no she has to twitter instead? Post pics? Sorry but who the hell cares about posting pics of your kid to strangers for sympathy? I’d want my family & other kids by my side, not some internet messages from people I don’t know. I wouldn’t give a canary’s butt about informing my ‘online’ friends list. I hope you all keep digging because something isn’t sitting right with this story at all. And no darn way should anyone donate a dime until its truly confirmed by authorities & media.
I can’t imagine losing my child and less than 24 hours later cussing people out on Twitter who don’t believe it. At that point I wouldn’t care. Nothing would matter. If her husband is deployed, there should be a huge support network for her through military spouses. I have been on the receiving and giving end of that support. Why would she turn to Twitter?
I looked at Military_Mom’s pictures on TwitPic and it doesn’t seem like she needs donations. She seems pretty well off. Which also makes me question more. Her husband is in the military and they make enough to own that mansion? I’m no stranger to a military paycheck as my husband is an officer in the military. I don’t know, maybe they come from money, but I still don’t think they need donations. They need emotional support and if it turns out that this isn’t true, then she needs therapy.
Agreed to all of the comments. I hate to be cynical and skeptical, but we SHOULD check things out before donating money, time etc. Nothing wrong or hateful with that.
Well written post. When I first read a retweet about this last night, I was heartbroken for her. Now, I wonder…just seems like it doesn’t add up. Either way, it’s a very sad story.
Me too. I was ready to fire up the tweet engine and get her some support… I think it’s okay to ask to verify. Not attack, just get a little more info. Thanks for your comment.
Very well said! Considering that the flames from the whole @MyBottlesUp vs the TSA fiasco just died down, I think it’s normal for people to want to verify a story before they start sending in money.
I have my own opinions about being on Twitter in the midst of such a horrible tragedy. I can’t speak for others because everyone grieves differently and everyone has their own idea of what an online community is… but if it were me, I would be so sedated and drugged out on whatever the ER saw fit to give me that I wouldn’t even be able to turn on a computer. And while I do have some very close friends that I know only through the Internet, I would reach out to them privately by phone before I would reach out publicly on Twitter.
I’m not saying that I think this story is made up, although part of me hopes that it is because then that would mean that this adorable little boy is alive and well. If it is made up, then hopefully it will result in getting the mother whatever help she needs. But, man, what a slap in the face to parents who really have had to cope with the loss of a child!
If it is true then my heart goes out to the mother, the father, the other children, their family and friends and I feel bad for the criticism and blame and negativity that they’ve had to go through on top of it all.
It just reminds me of all of the celebrities who want the public’s attention until something goes wrong and then they demand privacy. If you put your life on public display, you have no control over what the public does with it.
Ugh. I just don’t know what to think. I really do see where each side is coming from but it’s just ridiculous that there even has to BE “sides”.
Where is the confirmation? it’s not on the Brevard County’s site. WHO made the call? Who confirmed and where is the confirmation? Sorry until I see legit reports and not some personal blogger website, I don’t believe it.
Glad to see this too. I’m military, and have a child, and can’t imagine even losing my baby, much less when my husband is away.
STILL – I know we live in a social-networking world, but to tweet that way, when she did, then post pictures so soon afterwards? Then get on the next day? I get you’re grieving but step away from the internet. It’s a comment on how much the online world & validation on it rules lives today.I think that’s what a lot of people (though silent) take issue with.
No I’m, not hating; before her support train gets on & chews me out. But seriously, think for 2 seconds. Would you be posting online at a time like that?
Thanks again for a well thought out post.
Yes, we do need to protect ourselves emotionally and financially–but there is a time, a place, and a way to do that respectfully.
I always suggest that when people want to give financial donations, they do so through an earmarked fund with the hospital, local organization or house of worship, etc. There are a whole host of reasons why this is a good way to go about things.
However, the post to which you linked has as one of its tags “hoax”. I don’t have any issue with people going off to verify and reporting the results–but tweeting about that process in a way that strongly hints you don’t buy the story is insulting.
Wait for verification, yes–but there is no need to rush to judgment, assuming the worst in people. The implication that a story like this is a hoax is hurtful, especially when we know that the mom is on Twitter and seeing this. I believe that people are reacting to those insinuations at this very sensitive time.
Yes, tweeting out pictures is differently than how I think I would mourn–but I don’t think we should be in the business of judging how another chooses to mourn.
Great comment Candace. Good point to make. While tags are really supposed to help narrow down what I’m writing about, they aren’t meant to define what’s written. It would have been more appropriate if the tag was hoax with a “?” because at the time, so many were skeptical. If someone wasn’t sure, they may search the story using “hoax” as a keyword.
However, you make a great point that many will see it tagged as a hoax and think of it as such. I don’t remember tagging it as “hoax” but if it’s there, I’ll remove it.
Thanks for your comment.
I think Candace might have been referring to Madison McGraw’s post which was tagged with “Twitter hoax” or something like that.
I hate to say it but I wish it WAS a hoax. It broke my heart to see that his passing was confirmed. I wanted it to NOT be true. But since it his, I hope now that Shellie and her friends will just IGNORE the other stuff and cope with this loss.
You know what bothers me though? Those that are saying “hey, it’s natural to question a story before sending in money especially if something seems a little odd about it…” are now getting lumped in and called assholes with someone who took those doubts to another level. There’s a difference in being reluctant to blindly believe something and outright accusing someone of lying about a child’s death.
The name-calling and the attacks are just ridiculous! And, honestly, I see most of it coming from people who should be more concerned with supporting their friend than worrying about what some stranger on the Internet is saying. It just adds fuel to the fire if you ask me.
*sigh* Sadly, I’ve seen it before in the Mom blogging community… don’t you DARE speak out or disagree with one of their own or you will suffer their wrath! Maybe that’s why I never really fit in… I’m too much of an independent thinker.
Thanks April. I definitely was called the “a” word today. I’m pretty disappointed that happened, especially since I tried to be thoughtful about the entire thing. I know many people are hurting right now, so I’m trying to consider that, but I wholeheartedly agree with what you said, that if you question anything you get the attacks.
As soon as I heard from the Sheriff’s office, I contacted the local media in Orlando, then twittered and updated my blog so that the people who WERE unsure could know, and proceed if they wanted to donate to the family.
It’ll probably last for a few days since one of my responses was to McGraw, so I’m being lumped with her into a category of mean people who have no heart.
Thanks for your comment.
I think the thing that gets “us” so upset is that not everyone gets it. We aren’t “strangers”. Different people use social media in different ways. For those of us with little or no “real life” (please pardon my over use of quotes) community, the blogging and/or twitter community IS our community.
We take it to heart when someone bashes us for tweeting when they feel we *should* be doing something else.
Personally, when my baby was hospitalized last month, my twitter community is what kept me from going completely insane.
To each their own!
“You” are in good “company” methinks. I have definitely relied on twitter for a few of my own issues… more facebook than twitter since those people I know a bit more… but there is definitely a community feeling out there, and sharing with people during hard times – and not expecting any criticism in return – is important to get us through rough patches. You just *know* someone reading your tweet/post/blog entry has been there done that. Suddenly things seem more survivable.
Thanks for your comments.
Hey there: You can contact Agent Martin or Lt. Goodyear at the Brevard County Sheriff’s office. I received information from their office directly. It’s currently an ongoing investigation; county websites don’t usually release information (especially when a minor is involved) on their websites. If it was considered a major event, they may hold a news conference, but I don’t believe they think that is warranted in this case. If you’re still unsure then you should contact them yourself since reading websites/twitter updates etc can’t really be considered reliable.
Deliruttie, did you even notice the fact that that website hasn’t even been updated since October of 2008? Plenty of time for someone to have been deployed..
Just sayin’ be careful what you post and say.
I don’t know these people. I don’t know what went on. The details are none of my business. It’s none of anyone’s business except those actually involved. People really need to get off the “I need to be in (read: getting down on them) everyone else’s business” train and start worrying more about themselves.
I do think it’s great to help out and I believe it is ok to want to varrify a story before you help out. Unfortunately, especially in the blogger/twitter world that’s what its come down to. But please people… be careful what you are passing on. I’ve heard people say “yeah she tweeted about her son and a half hour later was tweeting about her chickens.”
Really? Get some information, people.
I really hope nobody has to ever go through something like this!
Andrea and mswiggie, I totally agree… and with her hubby being in the military and overseas, who knows how much family she has close.. maybe twitter was her fastest, easiest “its right there in my hand right now and I HAVE to do something” way of getting the word out quick. For crying out loud she was asking for prayers, not like she was exploiting him.
I am an EMT and I’ve seen the whole realm of grief/stress that happens as a loved one is dying. I’ve seen people completely whig out and cry/scream. I’ve seen people who are totally in shock and can’t even look at you. I’ve had to peal people off of their loved one (and even us!), and I’ve seen people chit chat with someone in the kitchen, or call 10 different people and tell them their loved one is gone like they were calling them to bring home a loaf of bread… while we’re working on their loved one in the living room.
People handle it in different ways, and it’s not our place to get down on them for it.
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