My Blah-Blah-Blog

If you don’t know by now, I’ve been dealing with some relationship issues the past few days, weeks, months. =)

See, I met this amazing guy. I was in a lonely time in my life and was praying, hoping for someone to come along and sweep me off of my feet. By chance I met up with my downstairs neighbor who’d lived below me for several months and don’t you know, we hit it off.

I don’t just mean we hit it off as in “wow what a great time, hope we hang out again soon” sort of way. No no no, I mean we were inseparable for months, doing everything together. We had great dates, great long deep conversations about life and love and everything in-between. Even a trip to the grocery store was fun together. He’s a perfect fit for me: we never argue, he’s romantic and considerate (did I mention he’s an amazing kisser!?), he’s handsome and funny and I’ve never been this in-love (excluding how I feel about David Boreanaz but that’s different) and I’ve never been in this great or healthy of a relationship for this long.

So why on earth am I talking break-up with this Mr. Perfect!? Well, it’s because I want to get married and have one more little baby before too long. And, while Mr. Perfect may want that one day, it’s not any time soon. As in, maybe late this century.  It doesn’t help that I’m already blessed with two little offspring which likely causes him a little panic as if I’m looking for a new dad for my kids.

I get that. I respect that. And I would never, ever force him into something he wasn’t ready for, or didn’t want. I remember when I met my now ex-husband he had two kids and was divorced. I can’t say I’m without empathy for Mr. Perfect.

That actually isn’t the point here. I have heard from many a-friends over the past three weeks seeking relationship advice. Not sure why they are coming to me, but hey it’s a girl’s duty to help her girlfriends out, right?

There seems to be a problem and it’s impacting almost every single one of my single girlfriends in the world. “I just want to get married, and settle down.” Okay, nothing wrong with that, right?

So why is it, then, that SO MANY of today’s available guys are declaring  “we’re breaking up because she wants to get married someday.”

Yeah, so what? Now, I’m not talking about the guy who doesn’t want to marry the chick he’s only been dating for a few weeks, or the guy who is trying to finish college and start a career so he can provide for a family someday in the future. I’m talking about the guys who act like getting married is a terrible, horrible panic-inducing thought.

Call it commitment issues, call it being afraid of never being able to ogle at a strippers boobies at a birthday celebration, call it whatever you want. I just think we should call it something.

When I was growing up, I was reading books and watching movies that all had one theme in common: young girl wants love, finds love, marries man of her dreams. I was told there was someone out there just for me, and one day we’d meet and get married and have cute little babies. So I waited for that. Waited and waited and waited. And when Hitler my ex came along, I’d waited for so long that when someone came along who was a potential, I settled on him thinking no one else was coming and he’d do. (Bad idea).

But back to my whining. We girls grow up thinking we’re going to get married some day. But it seems that men are more and more afraid of marriage. I can’t say that I blame them with ridiculous divorce rates like 1 of every 2 marriages end in divorce. Disheartening indeed.

So guys, really, what is it? Now, don’t tell me you are backing off from the girls are badgering you to get married. I’m not looking for the why behind THAT sort of refusal. I’d likely tell you to run the other way – and fast – if a girl is truly pressuring you or badgering you to jump into a lifelong committment way too soon.

What I AM looking for is:

why do guys make girls feel bad for even wanting to get married? We get made fun of for looking at the pretty sparkly dresses or pretty rings, thinking about all the fantasies we’d had since we were little girls of being THAT girl on her wedding day. Why is that a bad thing?

Why do you want to run away the moment a girl admits “Well, yeah I have always wanted to get married and have a family and a pretty little house.” She never said WITH YOU so if it’s in the conversation, why do you feel like she’s sinking her talons into you!?

I’m wondering if it’s because there are so many single parent families out there that boys and girls are growing up thinking being single is how to do things. (Note: don’t get me wrong, PLEASE. There isn’t anything wrong with being single (hello, I’m single) and a big fat medal is awarded by me to every single single-parent out there because you are truly saints).

So tell me what you all think. Do women over-think, over-plan for the day of her dreams? Should we all just forget about finding Mr. Right, Mr. Perfect and focus on our careers, our homes, our dogs? Should women tell a man straight up: Hey, I want to get married at some point. Not today, maybe not to you, but I want you to know that I’m dating with the intent of finding someone I’m compatible with, in hopes that the relationship could lead to something deeper, longer lasting. And if this doesn’t go anywhere, I’m cool with that. But if we end up being head-over-heels in love, well I’d like to hope you would feel the same way about wanting to be with me forever as I do with you.”

Be nice with comments. And, for the record, Mr. Perfect is right in how he feels right now, and this blog has nothing to do with whether or not he wants to hang out with me for forever.